Ok, several events led me back to this blogging effort. Perhaps if I write them down the impact they have in my head will have an impact on my actions?! Who the hell knows. First one was at a conference in another city and, as I was walking down the street, a homeless woman walked by me and said, “Wow, you look like a linebacker from the 49ers.” A professional football linebacker. That was a first.

Yesterday I was enjoying the beautiful day and walking my dog along the Charles River. A couple walks by me and the guy says to his girlfriend, “No, trust me, you’re not THAT fat!” What the FUCK. I know exactly what she said, because I would ask or wonder the same question myself of other people, granted it was never in earshot of that person. After all these years of being fat, I still can’t understand why people think it’s ok to say this kind of stuff. And why I still let it get to me.

I also went to a nutritionist this week. My doctor sent me to her to help lose weight and lower my cholesterol. I said I didn’t need to go because I know how to eat well, I read Self magazine and bought You On a Diet! I just don’t do it. That’s why I’m in counseling. She wanted me to go anyway and said she ’s give me 6 months to lower my cholesterol before putting me on drugs. I do not want to be in my 30s on cholesterol medication. But I also have a family history of heart disease.

Anyway, I went and I really liked this woman. She was direct and kind and also said this won’t work unless I’m ready. When will I be ready?!